i am woman, hear me roar...

this is too much information....literally! so, this is my account to what happened this week, if you're at all the queasy type, for goodness sake, skip this section, but i need to share here since this is just as much a space to post memories for me for years to come as it is a place to share the boys' lives with you :)


due to the size of charles, and safety for both moma & baby, we were scheduled for a cesarean at 715 tues morning, the 26th of january. this had been set for a while now. it used to be once a c section, always a c section, but in recent days, there is argument for that. doc says there is a high risk of rupturing things and blowing out things that shouldn't be blown out during labor if you do a v-back. (vaginal delivery after c section). so, given charlie was 11-4 when he was born, and this baby was expecting to be large, we (the doc & i) saw no reason to go through labor.


until midnight monday night. i laid down with my alarm set for four fifteen am . "four hours" till this show starts right?! i felt like baby was gnawing on my bladder. but then the pain started increasing. & getting more & more intense. it must have been close to one thirty, when brian, who had been lying next to me, watching whatever was momentarily hilarious online, was informed that something may be askew. (is that the right word?) we then shifted into high gear. brian got online to see what the heck we were about to get into. he remembered 4-1-1. from our birthing class three years ago. four minutes apart, for a duration of one minute, for one hour. then head to the hospital. so now, he gets on the phone. after a few automated messages in doctors' offices, we were timing our way out the door. grandma barge & grandpa mike saw us out the door at two thirty (am mind you). think we get stopped for a police escort? nope, mabye next time ;) we get to go through the emergency room entrance, it is the only door open. we get checked in just in time for another contraction. at this point, i don't care there is an audience of other uncomfortables. there were only about half a dozen other bodies waiting for ..well, whatever!. by the time i can breathe again, there is a wheelchair attached to some dude dressed in scrubs. i get in, we manage to find our way to the maternity ward, he wasn't really sure how to get to our destination. by the time we get to the desk, the nice lady behind the desk gets me to sign two pieces of paper & i'm on the floor again. crap....i have to pee...bad! they ask me to pee in a cup...(really? i what? okay...good luck to me!!) i manage to do so, before another contraction. next thing i know, i'm on this bed & ohhhhh dear lord..."i have to push!!!"....not waiting for an answer, my body just does so...this is taking place in a triage room...NOT a delivery room..there are tons of people in here & the nurse is telling me this is how it is going to be..."where are the drugs?!" i'm exclaiming. up until this point, i was able to stay with brian as far as eye contact (okay, sorta) and listening to him...but then i lost all control. i lost brian. & there are people preparing for the arrival of this baby..right now! i mean , right that moment!! i'm totally confused & in loads of pain. holy crap...& noises are coming out of me...as though the experience has not been humbling enough...i'm screaming louder than..well, nothing i've ever heard. mabye the quarter stick of dynomite my dad set off at my 21st bday? then, somehow, it is decided to move me to a delivery room. everyone shuffles. not sure how that came about. it is here that i asked to still have the c section -which i had already been told that isn't going happen. i'm not prepared for this at all. not even a teensy tiny bit. no drugs. no surgery. no husband?! where is that brian?! (turns out he's over my left shoulder..but i kept leaning to the right. (there was a pretty nurse there who kept telling me i'm doing good!) poor brian has probably witnessed the last thing he'd ever wanted to see by this point. (i'm leaving out gooshy details..!!) i'm pushing & feeling baby & screaming. but we end up able to do c section after all. this is the decision i regret. i was right there. but i was so confident i was unable to proceed. i wish i would have gone just a few more minutes. i may have been able to do it. (and i'm not just saying that cuz my incision is really sore!) but like i said, i was certain i couldn't do it. damn my estimations. i just reiterated how charlie got stuck after hours of pushing & we didn't know how big this baby was. now the crew shuffles (quickly of course) to the operating room. next thing i know, the lovely man with the need provides a spinal...ahhh hhhhhhhh relief. phew. that was harsh!! and oh yay, my lovely husband is back!! until they take the baby out ..then he's gone again!
409am is his arrival. hard to believe we left the house at 230. whoa. talk about a whirlwind. i saw every room in that maternity ward in about an hour!
what seemed like hours later, i was in recovery room. it took at least half an hour to sew me back up they said. i was moved to yet another room-recovery room maybe where i'm monitered & asked lots of questions. finally daddy & baby show up. daddy looking fine in his blue scrubs & baby, well, beautiful as you could possibly imagine. only 9lbs 6oz of beautiful, but filling up my whole world!! we've all made it!
by 515, the time we were supposed to be checking in at the desk to prepare for the surgery, i was rolled into our room. the nurses walked out the door & grandma mary & grandpa mike came in just in time!!! they checked in at the desk & they told them i was still in the recovery room so they thought they'd just wait for me in the room..but i barely beat them there!!
our stay was lovely . two & a half days. went home thursday afternoon.
it has now been a week. i've been staying upstairs (the main floor) in the guest room. as stairs and fresh incision on my abdomen are not a good pair. maybe today i will attempt to journey down again. thank you to everyone for coming. grandma/pa edwards, grandma/pa barge & kathleen & lowell too!! aunt barb even sent the cookie bouquet! (she had for charlie too!)
enough for now. sorry if you read more than you wanted to know!!
back to your regular scheduled programing...just clean snippits & pictures!